Somebody's Got to Do Something

Once again we on the leadership council thank those of you who sacrificed and made it out for tonight’s emergency meeting. As for those who aren’t here, obviously they didn’t care enough about the fate of our church. Evidently they couldn’t be bothered to make the effort to come to this meeting and cast their vote, but that’s between them and God now. The rest of us will simply have to take care of business as we know He would want us to conduct it—in the fairest way possible, of course—the way we’ve always run this church.

Let’s cut right to the chase and get down to business. It’s been several years since we had to hold one of these emergency meetings. You will doubtless remember the unfortunate situation when we had to let Pastor Jesus go. Once again we find ourselves in a similar situation, but for somewhat different reasons.

If you don’t know why you are here tonight, then you must be out of the loop. Most of you know what this is about: the abuse of power. Pastor John is starting to become a dictator, a despot who’s trying to run this church the way he sees fit! And we on the council, as those appointed to shepherd this flock, have a big problem with that.

What do we mean by that? Well, you are all aware that we were very clear as to what we felt this church needed when we hired Pastor John three years ago. He knew that he was being hired to serve the people of this church! That’s what pastors do, isn’t it? Don’t you all agree with that? Why, that’s the very essence of ministry—to minister to others. Right? Of course it’s right, it’s in the Bible.

We think we can pinpoint when the trouble all began. About six months ago, Pastor John actually had the audacity to come to the council and complain that he was working too many hours, and that he wasn’t able to spend enough time with his family. We, of course, were generous: we told him that he could cut back to sixty-five hours a week. We even found someone to mow the lawns for him so he didn’t have to do it on Saturday evenings any more! Of course, he still has to go out on Saturdays during the day and do the door-to-door witnessing, but at least he gets the evening off now. What more could he want?

It hardly needs to be said that we care about he and his family. We even decided that next year, we would let him have a sabbatical: one weekend off, two days to go wherever he likes for a well-deserved rest. All he needs to do is to make sure that he brings a qualified pastor in to preach that day—from a church who lines up with our doctrinal statement—and find somebody to lead the worship in his place.

We’ll have to deduct the time from his pay check, obviously, but we all agreed that by that time the man will certainly need a rest. If you remember, we had to cancel his vacation last year because there were too many things going on around the church to let him leave. Now, no one can say we’re not generous—we even said that his wife could go along too. All he has to do is to pay her way, provided that she finds someone to play the piano in her place during the morning’s service, and someone to teach her Sunday School classes that day as well. Surely that is not too much to ask, is it? Of course it isn’t.

Now for most pastors, this would have been more than enough to keep them happy. Don’t you think we’ve been more than accommodating with Pastor John and his family? We thought so too, thought the problem was all but solved and things could get back to normal. But a few months ago, Pastor John came to the council again and said that somebody had given him a book on church leadership and church growth, and he had actually read it on his own, without discussing it with us first. The man hadn’t even told us what book he was reading! That kind of secretive behavior can’t be good in a pastor—a spiritual leader, no less—who is supposed to model transparency and authenticity.

Since then, things have gone from bad to worse. We hardly need to explain what’s been happening in the last few months around here. We’ve got a full-scale rebellion on our hands, and this from the man who is supposed to a servant leader! Pastor John has actually tried to set up what he calls “ministry teams,” but thank God so far nobody in this church has responded to his appeals.

He’s even been talking some nonsense about letting other people preach from time to time, and not fellow pastors from other churches either! He wants people from this church to preach for him! What’s next, will some other person start teaching his Sunday School classes or his weekday home groups? He’s even had the audacity to suggest that we change the worship service, and bring a guitar up on stage! That way his wife won’t have to play the piano any more. Even she is in on it.

But if you ask us on the council, it sounds to us like the man is simply trying to get out of work. Remember why we hired Pastor John: to preach the Word and grow this church. We have always been more than clear—just look at his job description! And now he’s trying to shirk his duties by getting other people to do his job for him. What did he go to Bible College and seminary for? So somebody else could do his work in his place?

We hardly need to remind you all that it is our job on the leadership council to make sure that the wishes of this congregation are represented as fairly as possible. Not only that, but to make sure that if changes do need to happen, they will come about in such a way that everybody is happy with them. We all know that change is inevitable, but why alienate people in the process? Why break with time-honored traditions when there seems to be no need to do so?

We feel that we have been more than fair with Pastor John, but there comes a point when one reaches the limit. We’re at that point now, and something has got to be done about it. So in the interest of fairness, we’re going to ask all of you now to cast your vote on the piece of paper in front of you. Tell us what you would like to see happen. You’ll notice there are two choices: One, we have to let Pastor John go, or two, we keep him on—but with a reprimand—and we will demand that his dictatorial behavior stops now, and things go back to normal.

Does everybody have a pen or a pencil?